Finding Your Hidden Why
Written & narrated by Leigh Martinuzzi – Originally published December 30, 2014
Waking up day after day with this feeling that something is missing from my life. Every morning I wake thinking, hoping and wondering if there is more to this mundane experience. I know I need to do something different. I know I need to change, any change would be welcome, but how?
Am I stuck? Why am I not satisfied? Will I continue to carry on doing what I need to do to just to get by? Am I part of the status quo, a mere cog in the wheel of life? Is that enough?
A blog by Seth Godin inspired to sit down and write about what it is I want out of life. How can I find more purpose and maybe even discover my true purpose – my why?
What I found is that it’s not an easy task. You can’t just sit for a few hours brainstorming ideas on what you want and suddenly know exactly where you are heading in life. If it were that easy more of us would be living profoundly satisfying lives. I think what we need to do is take a few of these ideas that we write down and run with them. And then as if we are sailing a ship, we can in experience better navigate the ship towards where we truly wish to go.
It is about finding out what to do next. Shaking things up. Giving myself a little kick in the bum. A bit of self-guidance and a push to get back on track again. I just wish I knew what tracks they were. Things take time.
To generate some ideas and find some clarity it can be beneficial to ask some important questions. The answers will help us find our tracks, not the tracks of the status quo, rather our own. The mainstream tracks that we a promised will bring us satisfaction and happiness. It’s easy to take this train, it’s comfortable and it provides us with a sense of security but I keep finding myself back in a state of existence that isn’t satisfying my soul.
The mainstream tracks of life I refer to you are likely familiar with. They are changing but typically it looks like this – get an education, attend college, find a secure job, get paid, work your way up the chain of command, find a girl, buy a house, a cat, a dog, two cars, and have some freaking children. Settle down. Live the dream. The problem was that this wasn’t my dream.
I wasn’t taught to find create my own path. I was taught to fit in. Society is designed to allow a group of people to live harmoniously together. I appreciate the concept of this model however I feel it has a few flaws. Because when we become dissatisfied, and if the statistics are correct 85% of the workforce are, then we begin to adopt unhealthy behaviours often resulting in negative consequences towards ourselves and others that we love.
We fall into what I call “the great trap of life.” We confirm. We get comfortable. We find debt. We have families, buy cars, get a mortgage, we work 40 plus hours a week. We become disheartened with our passions, with our goals, with our dreams. Yet we get paid. Take a day off work. Spend our working dollars on shit we don’t need. We get high. From time to time we do this for a prolonged period during entitled annual leave. We think everything is great. In these moments we are happy. A feeling of freedom and security. Oh, how retirement will be a wonderful moment. Why? Why will retirement be great?
This is the trap I’ve fallen into. I don’t believe it’s all bad. I feel dissatisfied when I am not challenged. When I am not doing those things in life that I love and following my passions. I also know through experience that things don’t last. The job, the security, the money, the holidays, the lifestyle can change very quickly. I’ve experienced such changes over and over again. Why do I continue to sell my time in exchange money and an experience that I don’t really appreciate?
I’ve become complacent. I started to accept that this is how my life is meant to be. I’ve lost momentum. I give up!
I’ve got to wake up. Find the energy, curiosity and self-drive I once had in my youth. View life through the eyes of a kid. How can I play more? Stop taking life so seriously and start treating my life as a game. Test the boundaries. Try new things. Get off the tracks of the status quo and take the courage to explore my passions.
I am not as sure as I once was that we all have a calling or a life’s purpose. Actually, I think that’s a load of shit. However, I do believe we can live with more purpose and I do believe that we can do things that align better with what we value and what we believe to be important in our lives.
Money is important as is a sense of safety, well-being and certainty. Yet for what do we exchange it for – latte’s, late night shopping, watching TV, getting drunk, binging out on consumerism.
Do these things truly matter? Or are we just acting in compliance and hoping that by consuming we will find a sense of purpose and happiness. If it doesn’t, then what?
I’ve come to learn that those things in life that challenge us and help us grow are important. The quality of our health and relationships are too. Doing work that has an impact and allows us an ability to add value to the lives of others is grand. As is finding joy in creativity and remaining curious while exploring our passions. It is these elements in life that bring us a healthy level of significance and meaning. These are the areas in which I wish to spend the majority of my time.
Finding your why starts by asking a few critical questions.
What do I truly want to do in life?
What are my values?
What are my passions?
What are my goals?What would I do for free for the rest of your life if money and time were not an issue?
Leave your thoughts, comments and questions below. Reach out directly by email of social media. Peace, Passion & Purpose.
Further Reading and Resources
TED Talks: Ideas worth spreading
Elite Daily: The Voice of Generation Y
Four Hour Work Week: How to escape the 9-5, live anywhere and join the new rich.
The Minimalists: How to pursue a minimalist lifestyle and be happier.
Mind Hacks: Tips and Tricks for Using Your Brain
Rich Roll: Plantpowered Wellness Advocate
The Art of Charm: Build confidence, feel comfortable and networking differently.
The Art of Manliness: Encouraging men to be better husbands, fathers, brothers, citizens.
Tiny Buddha: Simple wisdom for complex lives.
Mind Body Green: Lifestyle media brand dedicated to inspiring you to live your best life.
Zen Habits: Find simplicity and mindfulness in life.
Creative NonFiction: “true stories well told.”
Barking Up the Wrong Tree: science-based answers and expert insight on how to be awesome at life.
The Positivity Blog: Practical articles on happiness, self-esteem, productivity and social skills.
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