“Happiness is a choice. You can choose to be happy. There’s going to be stress in life, but it’s your choice whether you let it affect you or not.” Valerie Bertarelli
Where does stress arise from? When you are next stressed try pause for a moment and reflect on why. I believe it is a beneficial exercise.
The dictionary defines stress as a state of mental or emotional strain resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances. We all know what stress feels like. It’s generally uncomfortable and not nice. In those times of stress, the ugly side of our character seems to become exposed.
I actually remember doing a personality type test back in my days as a manager. It was truly insightful. It highlighted perfectly what I viewed as my genuine characterizes and traits.
However, there were two sides to the coin or two sides to each trait. It indicated that in adversity my “dark sides” would come out. That is those traits that while are not always shown or expressed exist and are more prominent when under pressure. It was fascinating and at the time I could reflect clearly on recent experiences in which my “dark-sides” where expressed.
I used to think that stress wasn’t real and this was a thought that was influenced by my father. I suppose there can be depth to this thought. On one hand, stress is real – we can feel it, the added pressure in the given moment. On the other hand, when we stop and try understand the source, we may just see it as a conjuring of the mind based on our inability to see clearly at the given moment.
I hope you’re still with me here.
My thought today revolves around the question, “Is stress just a cause of the dissatisfaction that comes from living in the future?” When we live in the future we usually attach our thought to some ideal, expectation or desired outcome. And if this is perceived to be threatened we worry, we panic, we become stressed.
This is triggered by the current circumstance that is challenging our ability to move towards this future moment. For example, let’s say I wish to buy an ice-cream. I get to the counter to order two scoops and then realise I have forgotten my wallet. Stress forms because the intended expectation is now challenged. A very basic example and perhaps one that would not cause most of us a great deal of stress. Yet, one I am sure many of us can relate.
The message is that when we live in the future by holding on or clinging to some desired outcome or expectation we put ourselves in a position of vulnerability. The possibility that the attached expectation will not be met if circumstance challenges us.
As we are well aware, many of the circumstances of life are outside our direct control. What is in our control is an ability to let go of expectations. It’s okay to have expectations but don’t cling to them. If you do you might just find yourself more stressed when things don’t go according to plan.
Further Reading and Resources
TED Talks: Ideas worth spreading
Elite Daily: The Voice of Generation Y
Four Hour Work Week: How to escape the 9-5, live anywhere and join the new rich.
The Minimalists: How to pursue a minimalist lifestyle and be happier.
Mind Hacks: Tips and Tricks for Using Your Brain
Rich Roll: Plantpowered Wellness Advocate
The Art of Charm: Build confidence, feel comfortable and networking differently.
The Art of Manliness: Encouraging men to be better husbands, fathers, brothers, citizens.
Tiny Buddha: Simple wisdom for complex lives.
Mind Body Green: Lifestyle media brand dedicated to inspiring you to live your best life.
Zen Habits: Find simplicity and mindfulness in life.
Creative NonFiction: “true stories well told.”
Barking Up the Wrong Tree: science-based answers and expert insight on how to be awesome at life.
The Positivity Blog: Practical articles on happiness, self-esteem, productivity and social skills.
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