Finish: Give Yourself the Gift of Done by Jon Acuff

“The start does matter. The beginning is significant. The first few steps are critical, but they are not the most important. Do you know what matters more and makes the start look almost silly and easy and almost insignificant? The finish.” Jon Acuff

The battle is perfectionism. I think that just about sums up the premise of this book. In the face of perfectionism, we struggle to finish all that we start. It can sometimes be the reason why we don’t start things in the first place but as Jon explains beautifully beginning is not the most significant hurdle, finishing is.

I am far from perfect but consider myself an “actionist” – spell check confirms that is an actual word. The truth is that I can often plough into starting things. It may be considered a weakness because it usually means I act without any attention to being perfect.

Not that I don’t wish to do my best but my impatience kind of forces me to act without dotting my ‘i’s and crossing my ‘t’s. Mind you I think mostly I get that right these days and perhaps my weakness is impatience, not perfectionism. However, personally, finishing is an issue. I am not sure if it’s due to a desire to be perfect or more an issue of vulnerability.

It seems natural to me to want the very best results. Perhaps I secretly seek perfect results. I wish to achieve the maximum possible outcome. After visioning and dreaming of what I desire and taking action or first steps towards it I crumble in the face of, “Leigh, can you really do this? Aren’t you a little unrealistic.” And, “Who do you think you’re kidding.” I think this is what is referred to as the imposter syndrome.

Self-doubt is that inner voice that thinks perfectionism is essential. It may be a voice of fear. The fear of what’s next after completion. Maybe it’s the voice telling me that if I don’t achieve the desired expectation that somehow I will expose the truth – The fraud that I truly am.

The vulnerability might just be the most prominent roadblock that stands in my way of finishing projects. To avoid being vulnerable, we demand perfectionism. Brene Brown is my go-to expert on this topic after watching her TED talk and listening to her various others presentations. I recorded a podcast inspired by her talk – listen here. 

As she would say, vulnerability is facing uncertainty, risk and exposing emotions. How more vulnerable will we feel when we finish something, and it’s not as perfect as we once expected it to be. So we push back.

What we do is a good reflection of who we are, what we are capable of and the uncertainty of what we are genuinely competent doing creates the fear of exposure. The mind plays tricks. It helps us avoid discomfort or pain. Then we find ourselves saying that it’s okay not to finish. I believe we go beyond that and tell ourselves it is best if we don’t.

Jon Acuff has written a book to inspire all of us to finish. To not give in to being perfect. To allow vulnerability to shine in the face of failure or sub-par results. To enable vulnerability to shine in the front of success and a job well-done. Not to be okay with being average and realising that in finishing those goals and projects that we set for ourselves is all about personal progress. They will take us beyond average, regardless of the imperfect results we may achieve.

The book is easy to read with clear insights, tips and techniques to what it takes to finish. Jon is also very comical which makes it an entertaining read with loads of movie and TV show references. It’s a refreshing reminder that we are not so different. By ‘we’ I am referring to the people that I consider successful compared to me.

I guess one thing that separates the average from the ‘above’ average is often the ability to finish things. Having the ability also to learn, practice, improve and continue our progress to mastery are also useful tools/traits. Self-mastery is never final, as Sarah Lewis said in her Ted-talk, ““Masters are not experts because they take a subject to its conceptual end, they are masters because they realise there isn’t one.” Check out my review and thoughts on this topic here.

Do move beyond average knowing that we can always learn and do a little bit better is good motivation to progress. I think it makes life challenging, exciting and beautiful.

Each chapter has pockets of gold. For me perhaps the two most prominent lessons from this book were this. Number one, when we set goals, we should immediately halve it. Goals that make us reach for the stars are great, but they can often have us succumb to perfectionism and therefore never complete what we started. No one wants to be known as the guy that achieve only half the goal.

Secondly, and an excellent reminder to act on this, is that we must choose what to bomb! We can’t do everything. The problem we face is the shame (a symptom of vulnerability). Shame that results from a feeling that comes in not being able to do everything. A reflection of the state of perfectionism and compassion that runs through society.

“What will my neighbours think about my unmanicured gardens?” “Spaghetti for dinner again! How embarrassing.” “I can’t let me mother-in-law see the house looking like this, not to mention the pile of clothes in the laundry.”

Bomb the heck out of all that is unimportant to pursue purpose. Remove the distractions. And I mean get rid of them. For too long have I talked about closing down the phone apps and notifications that even as a disciplined mofo still, I find myself distracted. The time is now. Say “NO!”

We will never have everything perfect. There is no such thing as perfect, is there? What perfect looks like to you may be entirely different to what perfect looks like to me. So if you are like me, starting things without drama but rarely finishing all that you desire to complete then have a read of this book. It’s a surprisingly good read.

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If this book sounds of interest you can purchase Finish: Give Yourself the Gift of Done here.

Please leave your thoughts, comments & questions below.

Peace, passion and purpose…

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Further Reading and Resources 

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Psychology Today: Psychology Today is devoted exclusively to everybody’s favourite subject – Ourselves

Life Hack: Tips for Life

Elite Daily: The Voice of Generation Y

Four Hour Work Week: How to escape the 9-5, live anywhere and join the new rich.

The Minimalists: How to pursue a minimalist lifestyle and be happier.

Mind Hacks: Tips and Tricks for Using Your Brain

Rich Roll: Plantpowered Wellness Advocate

The Art of Charm: Build confidence, feel comfortable and networking differently.

American Psychological Association: The largest scientific and professional organization of psychologists in the United State

The Art of Manliness: Encouraging men to be better husbands, fathers, brothers, citizens.

Tiny Buddha: Simple wisdom for complex lives.

Brain Pickings: An inventory of cross-disciplinary interestingness, spanning art, science, design, history, philosophy, and more.

Mind Body Green: Lifestyle media brand dedicated to inspiring you to live your best life.

Zen Habits: Find simplicity and mindfulness in life.

Creative NonFiction: “true stories well told.” 

Addicted 2 Success: Motivation & Inspiration Website full of quotes and inspiring articles for entrepreneurs.

Barking Up the Wrong Tree: science-based answers and expert insight on how to be awesome at life.

The Positivity Blog: Practical articles on happiness, self-esteem, productivity and social skills.

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