Quality of Life – A Journey of Joy and Suffering

Poverty is no laughing matter. I am fortunate and grateful to have been born into the life I have. Others are not so fortunate. This is not about comparing one’s set of circumstances to another’s. In this blog, I wish to share my thoughts about how we can escape the funk that we perceive our life to be in order to start living a meaningful and purposeful existence. I will share some ideas on how I think we can all shift our attention away from all the shit we tend to focus on towards more intentional thoughts. With that in place may our actions and behaviours be altered and the life we live, well… happier.

The world we live in today is much better than any other time in history. Probably the best book I read recently that highlights this with a bunch of stats, science and research is Enlightenment Now by Steven Pinker. Pinker reviews many important areas that are good measuring sticks for our quality of life including health, wealth, peace, safety, equality, environment and happiness among other things. In my view, there is no doubt that the quality of most of our lives today is better than 50 years ago and definitely 500 years ago. It was about 500 years ago when things really started to change. Progress of humankind shifted gears that took us to the next level. Since then life has rapidly improved in leaps and bounds, likely due to modern science, and there are no signs of slowing down.

Despite all the evidence that suggests life on earth is better and that our quality of life has improved beyond what was previously thought possible, if we look around us, watch the news and reflect on our own individual level of satisfaction it may appear that life isn’t so great. The World Health Organisation indicates that depression is a global crisis. Figures on the side of depression, anxiety, suicide, drug abuse, mental and physical health are telling us a different story. We are not so happy and content with life despite all the modern-day luxuries and privileges that perhaps we should be grateful for. Why?

Life and the pursuit of happiness.

We are creatures designed to avoid pain and seek pleasure however as Buddha is quoted to have said, “life is suffering”. Pain in life is inescapable. I believe that the ever-increasing rates of “real-life” improvements have actually heightened humanities desire to seek out more ways to improve our happiness.  As one’s quality of life increases so too does the chase for more, more things, more stuff, more achievement, more reward, more happiness. The problem is that just as we reach our desired level of “more” it is not too long after that we find our personal state of satisfaction returning to what it once was. And so the chase ensues.

We desire more. We chase more. We do more. We have more. But are we being more?

I have noticed in my life that there is a particular unease that is created in the chase for more. Of course, and I am sure you too can relate, that most of what we desire in life are not always meet. This hunger for greater happiness has led me to crave more, a desire for more. And the unease this creates is sufferable. In the western world, those of us privileged to opportunity and higher standards of living are forced into this vicious and never-ending cycle of desire and pain.

For what we desire if not found, reached, felt, experienced or had will create disappointment. A feeling that my life for some reason is not as good as it should be. This is a false perception of our reality and it lessens the true experience and beauty of life that we could otherwise be living. Removing us from the present and joy of now. Dealing with suffering that is non-existent instead of learning the valuable lessons from the suffering that we experience in any given moment.

There is much in life right now, right at this moment, the joy and the suffering, that we are letting go due to the distraction of our desires and other short-term dopamine fixes. Fixes that we chase to escape our pain or “misery”. Missing out on all the things in life that really matter. The feeling of touch. The power of sharing time in those relationships we have or creating new ones. The satisfaction of silence. The peace that comes from finding flow in a much-enjoyed activity or hobby. The comfort of now. The satisfaction of learning. The joy in giving and helping one another.

For all that we desire; the awards, the accomplishments, the accolades; the new car, bigger house, the sweeter, the looks; the booze, the food, the drugs and sex, matters little once we are gone and yet the chase consumes us. It also pains us more greatly than necessary. If we weren’t in a constant chase, perhaps we could forgo much of the suffering created in the pursuit of our desires and superficial happiness. And maybe, just maybe, then could we begin to appreciate the true joy and happiness that life is.

If there is happiness in any given moment, there is bound to also be suffering. As said before, suffering is inescapable. Yet, is it possible there could be less suffering without the chase of an ever-increasing surplus of desires? Fulfilled desires deliver a certain level of pleasure, satisfaction and happiness but I relate to it like taking drugs. At some stage, the joyous feeling received wears off and so we seek out our next desire fix. A perpetual cycle ensues and that is addiction.

Addiction can be described as being the state of repeated and continued behaviour without the ability to stop despite the adverse effects it has on the quality of our life. Is the chase for more and our desires addictive? Can we break free?

In Part 2 I will share my thoughts on how we can live a more meaningful and purposeful existence with happiness and suffering as our allies.

Further Reading and Resources 

TED Talks: Ideas worth spreading

Psychology Today: Psychology Today is devoted exclusively to everybody’s favourite subject – Ourselves

Life Hack: Tips for Life

Elite Daily: The Voice of Generation Y

Four Hour Work Week: How to escape the 9-5, live anywhere and join the new rich.

The Minimalists: How to pursue a minimalist lifestyle and be happier.

Mind Hacks: Tips and Tricks for Using Your Brain

Rich Roll: Plantpowered Wellness Advocate

The Art of Charm: Build confidence, feel comfortable and networking differently.

American Psychological Association: The largest scientific and professional organization of psychologists in the United State

The Art of Manliness: Encouraging men to be better husbands, fathers, brothers, citizens.

Tiny Buddha: Simple wisdom for complex lives.

Brain Pickings: An inventory of cross-disciplinary interestingness, spanning art, science, design, history, philosophy, and more.

Mind Body Green: Lifestyle media brand dedicated to inspiring you to live your best life.

Zen Habits: Find simplicity and mindfulness in life.

Creative NonFiction: “true stories well told.” 

Addicted 2 Success: Motivation & Inspiration Website full of quotes and inspiring articles for entrepreneurs.

Barking Up the Wrong Tree: science-based answers and expert insight on how to be awesome at life.

The Positivity Blog: Practical articles on happiness, self-esteem, productivity and social skills.