ADHD, Sex, and Self-Compassion

In this episode of The Hidden Why, I sit down with Cate Osborn  certified sex educator, author, speaker, and mental health advocate known online as Catieosaurus.

With nearly 2 million followers, Cate has become a leading voice on ADHD, neurodivergence, sex, and relationships. In this conversation, we explore what ADHD really is (and isn’t), why so many adults are only just discovering it, and how it shapes everything from daily functioning to intimacy and connection.

We also dive into Cate’s upcoming book, The ADHD Field Guide for Adults, and why so much traditional advice simply doesn’t work for ADHD brains.If you’ve ever wondered whether you might have ADHD, love someone who does, or want to better understand how different brains experience the world  this is a powerful and eye-opening conversation

In this episode, Catie Osborn shares her journey from being a creative performer to becoming an ADHD educator and author. The conversation explores why ADHD is often misunderstood and why the name itself can be misleading, along with the important difference between internal and external hyperactivity. Cate discusses how ADHD affects time management, focus, emotional regulation, and everyday life, while also highlighting why many adults especially women  are diagnosed later in life. The discussion dives into the role of shame, negative self-talk, and feelings of “not being enough,” emphasizing the importance of building systems that work with your brain instead of against it. Cate also explains why systems can sometimes fail and how responding with self-compassion rather than criticism can make a significant difference. The episode further explores the connection between ADHD, addiction, impulsivity, and risk-taking, as well as how ADHD can affect intimacy, desire, distraction, and presence in relationships. They also discuss how structure, communication, and even kink/BDSM dynamics may support some neurodivergent relationships. Throughout the conversation, Cate emphasizes the importance of practicing radical empathy both for yourself and for others.

Key Topics Discussed:

• ● ADHD isn’t a lack of attention  it’s a difference in how attention is regulated
• ● Systems matter but they need to be flexible and built for you
• ● Shame and self-criticism often do more harm than the condition itself
• ● Self-compassion is not optional it’s essential for growth
• ● Understanding your brain changes how you show up in work, life, and relationships

About Cate Osborn:

Cate Osborn  known online as Catieosaurus, is a certified sex educator, speaker, and mental health advocate. With a background in academia and a large global audience, Cate focuses on ADHD, neurodivergence, sexuality, and relationships.

She hosts the podcast Sorry I Missed This and is a contributor to Playboy. Her work has been featured in The New York Times, GQ, Cosmopolitan, HuffPost, and more.Her upcoming book, The ADHD Field Guide for Adults, is set for release in 2026.

Action from This Episode:

• ● Take a moment to notice your inner dialogue.
• ● Are you speaking to yourself with judgment… or understanding?
• ● Try replacing criticism with curiosity it might change everything.

Resources & Links:

Get Cate Osborn’s book on Amazon:

The ADHD Field Guide for Adults

Website:

• Catieosaurus
• Twitch

Connect with Cate Osborn:

• Youtube
• Tiktok
• Instagram 
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