“Be Impeccable With Your Word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.” Don Miguel Ruiz

Why sharing our feelings helps but venting only supports the ego that may induce and lead us into further suffering?

We’ve all heard about the benefits associated to positive affirmations. Dan McGinn, the author of Psyched Up, talks about the power in performance by using a technique called reappraisal. Similar to affirmations it’s about reinforcing the positive stories we tell ourselves to booster confidence and reduce anxiety.

Venting is often a focus on the negative. And it doesn’t just involve kicking a chair or screaming at the top of our lungs. Venting evolves into inner dialogue that is too often negative in nature.

In an interview I did with Cy Wakeman she said venting only promotes the ego. And if the ego if not controlled it can take us down paths we do not wish to walk. Venting assists it to do that.

The ego is a story that we cling to, especially if we are not aware, that will lead us further into a state that is not conducive to success, performance or a positive sense of well-being.

Cy’s thoughts were that we should not vent but share. In sharing, we can express our feelings and such expression is good for healing. Such expression is good for moving forward with your life.

Venting, on the other hand, forces us to attach to a story that is not real, negative and often blown out of proportion. It takes the focus away from any lessons that may arise from an awareness of our feelings to focus on inner narration that is false and misleading.

Next time you want to vent or are told to vent, stop yourself. Instead, seek to understand why you feel that way. Share your feelings either in self-reflection and thought or with another, explore its truth and depth. Then in understanding perhaps you can avoid future occurrences and more importantly you can move on with life in a more positive and happy state.

Further Reading and Resources 

TED Talks: Ideas worth spreading

Psychology Today: Psychology Today is devoted exclusively to everybody’s favourite subject – Ourselves

Life Hack: Tips for Life

Elite Daily: The Voice of Generation Y

Four Hour Work Week: How to escape the 9-5, live anywhere and join the new rich.

The Minimalists: How to pursue a minimalist lifestyle and be happier.

Mind Hacks: Tips and Tricks for Using Your Brain

Rich Roll: Plantpowered Wellness Advocate

The Art of Charm: Build confidence, feel comfortable and networking differently.

American Psychological Association: The largest scientific and professional organization of psychologists in the United State

The Art of Manliness: Encouraging men to be better husbands, fathers, brothers, citizens.

Tiny Buddha: Simple wisdom for complex lives.

Brain Pickings: An inventory of cross-disciplinary interestingness, spanning art, science, design, history, philosophy, and more.

Mind Body Green: Lifestyle media brand dedicated to inspiring you to live your best life.

Zen Habits: Find simplicity and mindfulness in life.

Creative NonFiction: “true stories well told.” 

Addicted 2 Success: Motivation & Inspiration Website full of quotes and inspiring articles for entrepreneurs.

Barking Up the Wrong Tree: science-based answers and expert insight on how to be awesome at life.

The Positivity Blog: Practical articles on happiness, self-esteem, productivity and social skills.

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