Discover Deep Motivations That Will Assist You to Make the Change That You Desire
Do you find yourself constantly knowing what you should be doing but struggling to do it? With the overabundant amount of advice, information, ideas and thought on how to best live this life it can seem difficult to navigate yourself towards what is best for you. Personally it is a constant battle for me which is why I continue to challenge myself.
Here is what I know. The subconscious mind is very good at keeping us doing the behaviours that we are familiar with and comfortable. We are creatures of habit and habit is something that can be difficult to change but not impossible. The first reason why we might struggle to do those things we know or wish to be doing can be some part be the responsibility of the subconscious mind.
The subconscious limits many of has in progressing in life. There is hope! We can influence our subconscious by being more conscious and using this awareness to ultimately influence and change some of our subconscious behaviours.
Like and iceberg we can only see a small portion of what affects our behaviours by what emerges above the surface and into our consciousness, what is under the surface is deep and more difficult to change directly. Because it is more difficult to see.
If you know what you should be doing and not doing it then you are really already conscious of that. You are aware and can therefore see those things you wish to avoid, change or implement. This is the first step to making a change. Doing the work here will then gradually change what the subconscious is familiar with and begin to change subconscious drivers.
Apart from the subconscious keeping you doing the things that if you were conscious of them you would wish to change there is also another piece to the puzzle stopping you from taking action and that is your inner motivation. If you are not motivated to make change, if there is not a significant why or reason for you to do the work and make the change, you will likely remain as you are.
If I were to ask you to write me a hand written letter every week, why would you? What would possible motivate you to do such a task or adhere to such a request? It will be the reward or result that may come by acting on this request. If I gave you payment for each letter you sent you might find more motivation to pursue this task. As will a chance to win a million dollars entice you to partake. Tangible rewards might just get you started.
Here is the problem with this style of reward, it is motivated externally and not from within. While the external reward may satisfy some part of you internally, for example with the monetary reward you may be able to buy a new toothbrush or finally join the lucky diners club, but because it is not a motivation from within you might find the motivational fuel tank slowly or quickly deplete.
Motivation for reward must come from a place within for that is more likely to have one succeed in what one wishes to change than external motivators. For whatever you seek to change you must not only have and understand the reward but you also must be able to connect it to a deeper why within. What is the “why” for the change that you seek?
When you ask yourself this question you must be absolutely honest with yourself. This can be hard to do – the ego will be your enemy here. Here is one technique that may assist you to overcome any manipulation or dishonesty thanks to old mate ego. Ask yourself is this reward truly for the benefit to me or is it for the benefit of something external to the Self?
To help put things into context let’s use and example that most of us can relate to, losing weight and getting fit. The reward is to lose weight. That is the motivation to get you into action, but why? “I want to look good in those jeans, swimsuit, naked etcetera.” Okay! Fair! Why does that matter to you? Why is that important in relation to your life?
You can see the technique here is to keep digging. Keep asking questions until you reach a level of truth. That is where you will find whether or not the motivation and reward is truly internally driven or externally driven.
To look good in a swimsuit might only be due to superficial external demands that we have come to expect as a society. If it is only driven by a need to appeal to an external world it may not drive you and keep you motivated.
If you are a person possessed by a strong ego, it may just do the trick. The ego is obsessed with and highly satisfied by defining itself on external rewards.
This is where most people become untuck because they haven’t made a really deep connection with the internal why. Looking good in a swimsuit can be the bonus but how you feel within is what must truly matter.
How will this improve your health and make you more effective in what you do? How will your energy levels be? How will your confidence grow knowing that you feel better and are able to achieve change? How will your quality of life, including your deeper happiness be better off? Keep digging.
When you get to a point that brings on some powerful emotions within, to a point you might almost be on the verge of tears, that is when you’ve made it to the deeper why. That is your motivation. Desire alone may not be enough. Desire blended with strong deep emotions will motivate above and beyond.
If you cannot find it may I suggest perhaps that the thing you desire to change is not really that important to you. Perhaps there is something els that needs attending to that is causing your suffering or displeasure in life. That’s okay! What is that?
The reason why many of us struggle to change is because we are trying to change in areas that aren’t really the areas we need to make change. We are trying to find contentment and growth based on pleasing what is external and not seeking to mend, improve or create more greatness within.
The other reasons are because we just haven’t travelled deeply enough within to the true motivation for the change. When you keep asking those questions to the point you discover the why that is the place you can go back to when things get tough. If you’ve fallen over, go to that place. That is the place, the motivation that will get you back up no matter how hard you’ve fallen. That is the motivation that will make the change that you may have been struggling with for so long.
When you find it this is what will happen. You will do the work required to bring that change, by the power of your why, into reality. You will seek out and search for the practices, techniques, answers, and the ‘how’ until it happens. Until the change occurs. You strongest desires backed by deep emotions will trigger your subconscious to tune in and assist you also. Magic will occur.
And there is a powerful word – until. Nothing will change in life until you find that why, find that deeper reasons to make the changes you wish to make, that you believe will allow you to live this life more greatly.
Next week part two – The Motivation to Persist.
*this post has been inspired in part by the work done by Dan Ariely in his book Payoff – book review here.
If you are looking for one on one assistance to help you make the change you desire please feel free to set up a coaching call with me by using this link to schedule a time. I would love to help if I can.