Change: Uncertainty and The Fear of Missing Out
“Find joy in everything you choose to do. Every job, relationship, home… it’s your responsibility to love it, or change it.” Chuck Palahniuk
I have decided to move on with my life. Life decisions are never easy. They bring on all kinds of feelings that can be uncomfortable and even unbearable. They all rise from the notion of change. And the bigger they are, the longer they can be drawn out.
“Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” George Bernard Shaw
I understand that life is impermanent. Even though it may not appear this way every day we awake the world has changed. We have changed. Too often we are caught up in the turbines of our busy-ness, clutter, overwhelm and stagnation that we do not see this. For a long time, I didn’t see it and only when I stopped to look back on my past did I notice that I had let much of it escape me.
We cannot change the past, but we can learn from it. History is full of great lessons.
You’d think I’d be good at dealing with change by now. Perhaps I’m better! I feel at least that my perspective is – a direct result of my improving awareness.
“Perspective is the only things that can dramatically change the results without changing any of the facts.” Any Andrews
Change, the one thing that is constant. When we become aware of this, we can begin to accept the change that flows. The difference in allowing change or conforming to an unsatisfactory life is vast. A disappointing life experience is often a result of resisting change.
“The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.” Nathaniel Branden
In awareness, we are better able to deal with our feelings. They exist for the benefit of our survival. A notification or “nudge” to remind us to stop and take the time to assess them. What is it they are telling us? The biological system seeks balance. What is required of me to do or not to do?
Feelings exist to be felt. We will not touch them if we rush by them. Stop, pause, and reflect. Give yourself the time!
Feelings rise as a matter of priority. The ones we feel first are usually of more importance. Those that are the strongest suggest a higher level of urgency. More reason to stop breath and seek to understand.
Feelings produce thoughts. Thoughts may be without our control, but I believe that the source of all thought is created via the exposure of life’s experiences we’ve already had. Change what we expose ourselves to, and we may influence these thoughts.
Thoughts help us interpret our reality. They allow us to create meaning from all that is. They tempt us to act or behave in a certain way. How we behave will hopefully bring balance to our how we feel and offset any imbalance within.
Without a higher sense of clarity that comes from good health of the body and mind, we are less able to use these thoughts effectively. In clarity, we can put distance between thinking and behaviour. We are less inclined to attach ourselves to thought and therefore less likely to get swept away in its current. Such torrents that may take us to undesirable locations.
There is change approaching my life, and I am facing many feelings. Good and not so good! Fear of the uncertainty of what’s to come. Feelings of sadness as I say goodbye. Feelings of sorrow as I wonder what I am giving away. Feelings of excitement as I look forward to a new challenge. There are others.
I believe it’s important to pay attention to the strong ones. Reflect on them. Often there is a disconnect between the actual reason a feeling exists compared to why we may think the feeling exists. This disconnect can scew the thought and result in behavior that does little to solve the biological imbalance.
Perhaps my depth is merely unnecessary. Nonetheless, be aware and seek to understand your feelings. It will allow you to build greater confidence in the future. It can help reduce the uncertainty.
It is natural to focus our attention on all the good that exists in our life now. It is easier to focus on what we know than what we don’t. To attach to what is familiar and avoid what is not. Try letting go for a moment and visualize all the good that may result from the coming change.
It is not to neglect the negative feelings that exist but rather to acknowledge that positive ones will also likely eventuate in the change. Nothing is permanent. All the we like and dislike will pass. There are opportunities to be experienced in all change – it’s often a matter of perspective and attitude.
The act of clinging causes resistance, and if we move into the change in a state of resistance or “negativity,” we miss out on the opportunities. Embrace the change.
Again, nothing is permanent. Uncertainty and the fear of missing out are real. It’s important to understand how this makes us feel. It is also important to reflect on the certainty of the change and what there is to gain.
Further Reading and Resources