Linda Bloom, LCSW, is a seminar leader, author, psychotherapist, consultant, and expert in the field of human relations. She and her husband, Charlie Bloom, have been working with individuals, couples, and groups throughout the country and internationally since 1975.
She is coauthor, with Charlie Bloom, of 101 Things I Wish I Knew When I Got Married: Simple Lessons to Make Love Last, which has sold more than 100,000 copies, Secrets of Great Marriages: Real Truth from Real Couples about Lasting Love, and Happily Ever After… and 39 Other Myths about Love.
In this episode we talk about love, relationships, and how to create more happiness in your life. We talk about the generational differences and the causes this may be having on our relationships including our need to persevere and proceed with GRIT.
There was so much more I wish I had time to ask but for the time Linda and I shared I believe we provided much gold. Enjoy and until next time, peace, passion and purpose.
Key Take Outs
- Perseverance and GRIT. If everything in life you approach with GRIT and perseverance you will succeed – this includes our relationships. Grit is acting with courage and resolve, committing to finding a solution. Not all relationships are meant to be, not everything you attempt is right for you but always follow these principles – GRIT and perseverance.
- Happiness. 50% is within our genetics, 10% is situational, and 40% is our beliefs and attitudes. If you want more happiness the best place to start, within our control, is with your attitudes and beliefs. In reflection and understanding will you allow yourself to gain a significant chunk of your happiness back.
- Points before starting a relationship. Pay attention, use your own intuition and awareness, be authentic, and use those first dates as an interview. Find out what drives them, find out their passions and values and if you find authentic connection then proceed. If it feels right give it a go. Through experience you will evolve greatly.
- Become great at conscious combat. Expressing yourself in any relationship is critical. If you want to continue to grow and strengthen your relationship learn the art of healthy expression. We too often bring in negative emotions, judgement and blame when we aim to express our needs and desires but we must aim to remove these while not being tempted to avoid self-expression out of fear what it might bring up.
- On Negotiate effectively. This is the key to effective expression. Learn to be calm in your approach, be truthful and honest and tell the other how you feel, be respectful to yourself and your partner, and appeal to your partner’s self-needs. A couple of great pieces of advice to bring to your next confrontation.
- Dependency is ok. Our modern world has made us believe that dependency is a weakness but in fact it is not. Appreciate the need to depend upon your partner. The greatest benefits we have in our relationships is the ability we have to balance one another out. When there are two people there is greater potential. For were there are many imagine the possibilities. The true power of grand relationships.
Do you have any routines and rituals that you believe contribute to your success?
Skin time. Every morning Linda and her husband after they wake in the morning have a skin time cuddling meditation in bed.
What advice would you give to your 20-year-old self?
Don’t worry so much.
Her interpretation of success
Having depth and breadth of meaningful and loving relationships.
What is your number one productivity advice?
Connecting with people really make Linda thrive. It raises her energy levels to get more done.
Quick round questions
Favourite Leisure Activitiy
Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth
“We can’t do great things, we can only do small things with great love.” Mother Theresa
What does living life with passion and purpose mean?
Know ourselves well enough and to know what lights us up. When we know this we need to honour ourselves and give ourselves plenty of time to bask in that.
How to find Linda and other links
You can reach out to Linda Bloom and her husband, Charlie, by visiting their website here – bloomwork.com